what is THAT?!?!?!?!?

I am definitely a hypochondriac. I mean, it is just a fact. I hate it when I tell someone I have a headache and they say "well maybe it's cancer. WAHAHAHAHHAHAH LOLLOLL OMG HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!" Well, first off, I do NOT find cancer funny. And secondly, after that all I can do is be terrified i have cancer.
Even when I exercise. (rare occasion) If my heart starts racing too fast i am SURE it is a heart attack. My mind IMMEDIATELY goes, im going to
1. faint
2. be taken to the hospital (HOPEFULLY in time)
and
3. BE IN A COMA! AAAHH!!!!!!

So because I am thinking Im going to be in a coma in my near future from this 30 foot jog I just attempted, I am scared of THAT so my heart starts beating MORE.. it is all just a vicious cycle really.

Also, occasionally when I go to sleep, I end up falling asleep on my arm

This is bad because naturally my arm falls asleep, and I wake up and my left arm is NUMB. My first thought is, "THIS TIME it is a heart attack for SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last time this happened to me, I woke up, realized I was having a heart attack,

and I got up to go tell my parents that i needed an ambulance.

But as I was crawling to their room, my arm started to wake up and i realized what was REALLY going on.
Sometimes I figure it is just best to jump to the most extreme conclusion because then at least im always prepared. And usually calm. I think scary movies did that to me. I used to LOVE scary movies but now I literally cannot watch one without being scared of it for about a year after I watch it and then sporadically throughout the rest of my life.
I just can't seem to get them off my mind EVER! Ugh. I showered with my shower curtain open for like ten years after someone TOLD me about the movie Psycho. This is not a joke. And sometimes I think of it still and then I just have to open it!

Well anyway. My dog is whining at me and I don't know why, I'm not even eating anything. (rare occasion)
In other news, I gave my dog a mohawk and he looks absolutely stunning.

I love playing the drums yall and I think I'm going to cosmetology school! Meh how many times have I said THAT!?!?!? But I think I really AM this time.

See yall!!!!

ps i love it in step brothers when he comes down and says, "hey man, did you touch my drumset??" and the guy is like, "..mmno." and he says, "oh thats weird cause it seems like somebody definitely touched my drum set." and will ferrel goes, "yea that IS weird cause I didn't touch it." or something like that it is soo funny idk why I am writing about that. I heard Steve Carrel isn't going to do any more seasons of the office, AND i heard they are gonna continue it without him! I LOOOOVE that show but I can't imagine it without him! Well I am just talking my ears off ok byee

lo
lo
lo
lo
ve

Well, sometimes you just gotta make a blog.

IN trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, I have discovered that I am not very good at a whole lot. As a kid, I tried BILLIONS of things. But I always quit them. Ever since I was little, I assumed I would just be rich and famous. Or at least rich. I just always wanted to be a Spice Girl and then somewhere down the line i realized I am not one. And not even close to being one.




And even my friends would ask me what I wanted to be. Still just rich.





So now Im living at home, with no job and I'm not in school. Im so afraid of missing some CRAZY opportunity that I dont want to commit to a job. I think of sort of as synonymous to why I always overpack. I'm always thinking "yes I DEFINITELY need to bring my Titans jersey to Florida because what if one of my home town players HAPPENS to be in Florida the same time I am there then i can get an autograph!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing like that has ever happened to me though.


and my parents pay for me to go to school but I don't want to waste money when I don't know why I want to even GO to school. Part of me really wants to do hair and makeup but I'm also afraid of not making enough money. But then I feel like, if I am willing to do the work to be rich, then I WILL BE RICH. Or at least I will be well off. I just have to be the best at whatever I choose. I just don't know what to choose.

Well today I have a drum lesson. Soooo thats what im doing. Oh also I have been cleaning my room like crazy. and organizing. and rearranging. Im OBSESSED with makeovers so I sort of actually enjoy cleaning because it is a makeover for your room.

Today on Oprah is something about a crazy awesome new diet thing. well IM gonna watch it. Oh, it's into the 12 O'clock hour. Gotta do 10 pushups if I'm gonna go with this 10 push ups an hour thing I just invented.

Awesome.

Oh WOW thats ALLL?!?!??!?!?!?!

I totally have expensive taste. Champagne taste on a beer budget as the saying goes. Im always trying to shop at the most expensive stores but can rarely buy anything. Sometimes I will just save a couple hundred dollars and go buy like ONE thing. But in the expensive stores you have to pretend you fit in so I will go and just be like UGH NOTHING HERE IS CUTE EXCEPT THIS ONE THING I AM BUYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That always seems to be the best way to handle going into the snobby too-expensive-to-even-breathe-in stores. You just need to pretend to be just as snobby as they are. (Snobby people react well to other snobs. FACT.)





And what is even MORE annoying is when you raheeeaally want something in a sort of expensive store but there is NOTHING that says the price!! WTF?!? So you have no choice but to ask and then they are all "Oh lets seeeee heeerreee.... theeeese jeans aarrreeee... $550." And then you have to pretend like this is NO big deal so you're like, "Oh WOW THAT IS SO MUCH CHEAPER THAN I THOUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"






The other surefire way to get through these stores is to pretend you're on the phone and keep saying "daddy". Like, "no daddy SAID he would buy me the range rover! I don't WANT that BMW!" or "Daddy, can I have more money cause I'm still shopping thanks love you!" Oh yea that's a good one works every time.


Anywho.

STILL dont know what I'm doing with my life. WHAT IS THE ANSWER??!?!?!?!? Hair, makeup, interior design, music, pastries, start a business, be a doctah??? OMG YALL.

Just say lol

well bye then

So what exactly is this?

The M key on my keyboard is missing. It makes typing really strange.

Well... Ive been trying to decide what to do with my life. All of my friends are graduating college now and I ammm uuhh... not really doing much.

Yall. Ugh. Seriously WHAT am I going to dooo?!?!?

Do you know what I really do not care for? When I go to shoe stores and the people there are like HEY WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? OH THAT CHEAP SHOE WE DONT HAVE THAT BUT LET ME BRING YOU SOME VERY EXPENSIVE ALTERNATIVES TRY THEM ON DONT YOU WANT THEM ALL!??!??!?!?? I'm like, I do not need your help. My brain will tell me what I like and if I wanted an alternate choice I would have picked one out myself. I mean, do they get paid on commission?? Cause thats what it seems like.